The Annual Solo Birthday Fotowalk
Me and my Fujifilm X-Pro3 with 23mm f2 - My favorite street setup.
My birthday was yesterday, March 30th. As I get older, birthdays have transitioned into a day of self-reflection versus a party. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t like to enjoy a good time with family and friends but the date seems perfect for some quiet time reviewing the past year.
Of course, by now, you know that photography has always been much more than a passion for me. It’s more of my essence of life. The craft that’s ingrained into my personality, drive and everyday life. It’s only logical that on my yearly celebration, getting out to shoot is always at the forefront of my individual celebration.
I’ve lived by the premise that age is just a number and it’s really about how you feel inside. There are many days that my aging exterior makes me feel much older than the years marked on a calendar, but most of the time my brain thinks it’s in the mid-30s. It must be the difference between the linear timeline of aging flesh and all the variable experience and feelings of your heart. Life would be wonderful if my outside appearance reflected the age my soul feels.
Late yesterday, after most were bedding down for the night, it was time for my time and my solo fotowalk to engage in my favorite pastime while reflecting on the past 365 days. So many sunrises and sunsets have passed, that it’s hard to recall all the great moments I’ve experienced. Especially when dealing with the unimaginable circumstances of today’s Coronavirus “Shelter In Place” order in Oklahoma and around the world. It’s like a scary TV show playing out in real life with life-altering consequences. A show that can’t be binged watched to get to the happy ending quickly but dealing with the agony of waiting for new episodes playing live on the news each night. I think this show will linger much longer than anyone can foresee. We will be judged by history and the future generations that will have a much different view of a normal life than we currently experience.
Spending quiet time, walking the barren streets of my current home of Oklahoma City was exactly what I needed to refresh my mind and recall the important areas to refocus my efforts. Daily life has a way of letting in all the distractions that keep you busy but not really productive on your path. Do you ever feel like that? That you are exhausted at the end of each day but didn’t actually accomplish anything of value to push your dreams closer to reality?
So much of my life spent in the USAF was a mission of documentation. Photography coverage of newsworthy events for internal or external media consumption. Many of which were struggles during conflicts that reflected the best of individuals and the worst of humanity. The window of my viewfinder provided a barrier to the activities I captured and only allowed myself brief moments of emotional after the mission was completed. After that solo instant of reflection, you put all those feelings, anger, rage and desperation in a small box and then bury it deep. Maybe not the best way to deal with struggles, but surely effective when faced with more than I can handle. Project the appropriate normal face to the world and deal with your demons privately because the next mission needs your full attention.
Again for another year, my deepest struggle is finding my mission is ever-changing but shall always involve helping others find their passion and success even if it’s not the same path as mine. Not everyone is destined to be visual creators and need to find their own direction in life. This is a hard reality of raising responsible children. Their path to happiness and satisfaction rarely will follow your guidance or suggested choices. The struggle is real for parents and for myself daily.
All in all, this year I’m grateful for the support of my family, my friends and my followers that allow me to concentrate on my newest mission to excite, educate and elevate the industry of photography for anyone involved in just capturing family moments to those wanting a full-time career. In reality, it’s always been my life’s mission and gives me the greatest joy to see others excel. It’s my legacy and how I realize some part of me will never perish as my knowledge is carried in others.
So I leave you with these simple lessons from my previous years of experience that can help you discover your potential.
Find your direction and pursue it daily and with drive, passion, and joy, knowing that journey is much more important than the end. The end never is realized since you can always be a better version of yourself.
Stop making excuses for why you can’t and make better choices that help you can. Excuses are little lies told to yourself to release your heart from responsibility. If one way doesn’t work, find another. Keep pushing, never quit.
Thank often those that support you and align with your direction. You have two families in life. One you are born into and one you choose. Choose wisely as not all that are friendly are true friends.
Seek to find happiness. No one can give you happiness. Each day you will have to choose your reaction to problems out of your control. Make damn sure you start each day with your best smile. Choose to be happy. It’s contagious. Be the change you want the world to be.
Everyone gets the same 24 hours a day. Many succeed and so many more fail daily. How you choose to spend your day will quickly add up to one or the other category. What are you doing with your time?
And now for some of the gems, I found on my personal fotowalk. They might not be the award-winning images expected after the long rant from an aging photographer but they mean much to me. Spending time alone helps me become a better person when I’m investing time with others.
